54 Rajnikant One-Liners

1. When you say "no one's perfect", Rajnikanth takes this as a personal insult.
2. Google for Rajnikanth getting kicked, or Rajnikant getting kicked, and you will get zero results.
3. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
4. Rajnikant counted to infinity - twice.
5. When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
6. Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
7. Rajnikant doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
8. Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
9. Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
10. There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
11. Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
12. Rajnikant can divide by zero.
13. When taking the GRE, write "Rajnikant" for every answer. You will score over 1600.
14. Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
15. If you Google search "Rajnikant getting kicked" you will generate zero results.
16. Rajnikant doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
17. It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
18. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
19. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq cause Rajnikant lives in Chennai.
20. Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink
21. Rajnikanth makes onions cry
22. Rajnikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
23. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajnikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
24. Rajnikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.
25. Rajnikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
26. Rajnikanth can drown a fish.
27. When Rajnikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,......... .... he turns the dark off.
28. When Rajnikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajnikanth and Rajnikanth.
29. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajnikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
30. The last digit of pi is Rajnikanth. He is the end of all things.
31. Rajnikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
32. Bullets dodge Rajnikanth.
33. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajnikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
34. Rajnikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajnikanth.
35. If you spell Rajnikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajnikanth? " It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
36. Rajnikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
37. Once a cobra bit Rajnikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
38. When Rajnikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
39. Rajnikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
40. Rajnikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
41. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajnikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
42. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajnikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
43. Rajnikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
44. Rajnikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life? unless it gets in his way.
45. Rajnikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
46. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
47. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajnikanth.
48. Rajnikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajnikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
49. Rajnikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
50. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajnikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
51. The square root of Rajnikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajnikanth, the result is death.
52. The New indian rupee symbol is actually Rajnikant's signature.
53. A small child once went to Kashmir and was playing, making small mountains of ice. Today that child is called Rajnikant and those small ice mountains are called Himalayas.
54. Rajnikant's e-mail id is gmail@rajanikanth.com